Notifications: Putting Us on Alert

Somebody asked me once what anxiety felt like.

The textbook description is that anxiety feels like dread or impending doom, accompanied by physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling, feeling weak, or difficulty sleeping.

Sound familiar? I find that definition helpful, to be sure, but it is impersonal. My brain lives in metaphors and visuals.

For me, anxiety feels like a corkscrew in my chest, spinning and tightening with every thought connected to my stressor. It is not hard for me to breathe, necessarily, but it is hard to get a deep breath—like the air just won’t reach the lower lobes of my lungs, no matter how intentionally I send it there, as if a physical barrier is blocking its entry. And my worries are not just "worries." They feel like inevitabilities. There is no "if" that bad thing happens; it is "when."

I know I am not the only one who has ever felt this way. Roughly 30% of Americans experience anxiety at some point in their lives (and honestly, I am surprised that number is so low. Genuine question: Have you ever met someone who has never felt anxious? Like, never ever…? I digress).

The Universal Stressor

It is no wonder that we are an anxious nation. While I could list a multitude of reasons we are all on edge in 2026, I do not have enough time (or data storage) to do so. Instead, let's point to what I consider the least controversial and, perhaps, most universal of American stressors: our tech.

Phones, computers, tablets, video games—that stuff stresses us out, even when it’s designed to make our lives “easier.” Because we can now seamlessly integrate our phones with our cars, our tablets, and even our houses, there are very few domains that aren't shouting for our attention throughout the day.

The result? A constant barrage of data, countless distractions, and emotional dysregulation. Human brains are amazing, but they have their limits. This might be it.

The research on this is ongoing, but here is what we know:

• 7 Seconds: How long a single notification can distract you.

• 46 to 146: The number of notifications the average adult gets per day (teens average a staggering 200).

• The Cost: Rapid task-switching consistently increases stress while tanking productivity.

  
  

I could wag my finger and tell you, “Screen time is bad!” But that isn't helpful. Screens are here to stay, and they do serve important, helpful purposes.

When "Relaxation" Becomes a Demand

What we need to focus on is this: It is common to use our phones without a second thought or intention, but when we do not use our screens with intention, we suffer.

Let’s be real. We are busy humans. Regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, or what region of the country we are in, we. are. slammed.

Then technology steps in and says, “Hey, here’s a fun game to help you relax.” Sounds innocent enough, right? Next thing you know, it is ranking you, encouraging a “daily streak,” or offering “double points for the next ten minutes,” all while sending you countless notifications.

Just like that, a fun activity becomes a demand. It morphs from something your brain wants to do into something it feels compelled to do.

That is, frankly, anxiety-inducing. That corkscrew feeling I described earlier? This is when it hits me hard. That constant influx of "dings" when all I want to do is focus makes my chest tighten, and every subsequent notification twists the screw just a little bit tighter.

How to Take Your Peace Back

So, what do we do about it?

There are plenty of options, but my go-to strategy is practicing intentionality. When I pick up my phone, particularly during a break from work, I try to do it with purpose, rather than out of habit.

You know the habit I’m talking about: you are bored, so you pick up your phone, unlock it, and open an app with absolutely no clue what you are looking for—just that it feels like the right way to pass the time. In the immortal words of Bob Newhart: Stop it.

Instead of defaulting, pause and ask yourself:

• What am I trying to do here?

• What am I looking for?

• Will this app truly fill my cup right now?

  
  

The answer might genuinely be yes, but it is worth finding out. Take a moment to name what is going on internally. Are you bored? Lonely? Hungry? Sleepy? Sad? By naming the feeling, you can actually solve the real problem. For example:

📞 "I actually feel lonely." -> Can I use my phone to text or call a friend?

🎶 "I actually feel burnt out." -> Maybe I’ll turn on a playlist, lie down, and close my eyes.

🧠 "I feel overstimulated and need to let my brain regulate." -> I’m going to play Sudoku with my notifications silenced.

🐕 "I feel sad." -> I want to find funny dog videos to lift my spirits.

All of these are examples of using a phone with intention. I understand that our devices aren't going anywhere, and frankly, intentionality is a brilliant skill to practice across the board.

Two Quick Wins to Try Today

If you want practical ways to lower the anxiety baseline today, try these:

1. Batch Your Notifications: A 2019 study showed that receiving notifications in batches notably improved participants' mental well-being (compared to getting them constantly or blocking them entirely). If you are on an Android, you can easily set up routines to silence and batch notifications until specific times of day (iPhone has similar "Focus" features!).

2. Physical Distance: If you’re feeling particularly bold, keep your phone in another room during specific timeframes—like dinner, bedtime, or deep work hours.

   
   

Constant notifications are just one of a zillion reasons that anxiety is rising in America. We cannot control that our world runs on technology, but we can control how we use it—and how much it uses us. Finding that sweet spot where your actions align with your actual needs is a powerful way to take your attention, and your peace, back.

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And always remember: You’ve got this.

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